Gaffe of the week

03/02/02 Roebuck v Surreal Madrid

As once again there was no gaffe on part of the Surreal Players I have decided to award it to the Roebuck player who found the ball bounce through to him on the six yard box with a simple chance to tap in, but instead ballooned his effort over the bar with the score at the time being 1-1

Gaffe Rating 9/10

27/01/02 Surreal Madrid v CS Maritimo

Even though we suffered a poor result I can not recall any significant gaffe, try harder next week Surrealists.

Gaffe Rating 0/10

20/01/02 Jackals v Surreal Madrid

This week since no report was forthcoming I award this to the whole team who managed to embarase the good Surreal Madrid name

Gaffe Rating 10/10

13/01/02 C.S. Maritimo v Surreal Madrid

This week people were queuing up for the award but one person outshone everyone, obviously secretly upset of not being up for this award before Paul Boycie Cole tried numerous attempts during the match to catch the eye for this prestigious accolade. His finest being a pass from inside his own 18 yard box straight to a player of the opposition just outside of it, the mark would have been higher if the opposition had scored from the situation. Try harder next time Boycie.

Gaffe Rating 6/10

16/12/01 Roebuck v Surreal Madrid

This week was very vague so the choices were Dave Kavanagh for arranging his birthday celebrations before a match which resulted in a make shift defence, but Gordon Carson just pips him by scuffing a shot from 6 yards out.

Gaffe Rating 7/10

09/12/01 Steeles v Surreal Madrid

There were two entries in this week s competition for the ridiculous. The first nomination was Glenn Arthur who when on goalkick duties attempted to play a short pass to Derek Siddle on the edge of the area, but only succeeded in putting the ball into touch for a opposition throw in. As this was late in the game and had no bearing on the result this weeks winner is Bjorn Lawton. Bjorn chasing a ball back towards his own 18 yard area got it under control, kept shielding the ball whilst still going towards the box, then instead of clearing the ball finally got dispossessed by an opposition attacker who went on to fire past the Surreal keeper.

Gaffe Rating 8/10

25/11/01 Surreal Madrid v International

It was very hard to find a Gaffe of the week, Taff Manton however has one of the only claims this week. A good ball was played to him about five yards out at the far post, and with only the keeper to beat he managed to hit his shot wide of the post.

Gaffe Rating 5/10

18/11/01 Roebuck v Surreal Madrid

I'm afraid this week the gaffe of the week returned to its spiritual home - in defence.  When a high ball was played deep into the Surreal half both Glenn Arthur and Will Bicheno started to go for the header then decided to leave it for each other, which meant the ball bounced past them both straight into the path of a Roebuck forward which put him staight through on goal, fortunately he shot straight at the goalkeeper who blocked the effort (or was it a blinding save from Jamie?).

This gaffe narrowly outshone  a pre-match comment by Daz Johns who exclaimed " Glenn has overloaded my box!"

Gaffe Rating 7/10

11/11/01 Surreal Madrid v Haringey Irish

Dave Stringer!

Gaffe Rating 10/10

04/11/01 Surreal Madrid v Steeles

Welcome to another memorable moment.  This week was it Glenn Arthur's refusal to take the points on offer from the referee as the opposion turned up late for the fixture (after the result this is definately a strong contender), or was it Martin Lightbody's feeble shot wide when clean through on goal, a close second but he saved this weeks blushes as he was instramental in setting the chance up for himself after some neat approach play.

The winner this week is the Banner Man, Derek Siddle, who somehow managed to blaze the ball high and wide after the ball fell to his feet just outside the 6 yard box with a clear sight of an empty net (Many more like this Del and Boycie will be seriously in danger of losing he personal verb!)

Gaffe Rating 6/10

28/10/01 Haringey Irish v Surreal Madrid

This week there were a number of contenders for this prestigious award, Will and his goal kick, Terry and his hand ball, but the two which stood where head and shoulders above the rest came from Del and Brad. Del comes runner up with a quote even Big Ron would have been proud of. As Dave Stringer struck a free kick at the oppositions wall, Del turns to Taff and Dave K and say s That the worst free kick I ve seen since last Tuesday , What was meant by such a quote can only be guessed at.

But the big prize goes to our very own goal Keeper Brad, Having just picked up the ball in his own box, he ran to the edge of the area to throw the ball out to his left, however in his excitement Brad forgot to let go of the ball and he himself was flung beyond his area and came crashing to the ground, but to his credit, he got up and acted as if that is how throw outs were suppose to be done. Good work fella.

Gaffe ratting 4/10

21/10/01 Chingford Inquisition v Surreal Madrid

The gaffer supplied Gaffe of the week today, when a good cross from the left was travelling towards the far post Derek Siddle shouted loudly for the ball, when the ball arrived he appeared to have the goal at his mercy, only be shot by a sniper (or was that a diving header?) and placed his header wide of the target.

Gaffe Rating 7/10

14/10/01 International v Surreal Madrid

Bjorn Lawton came crashing down to earth today, after scoring a great goal last week he contrived to miss a chance of Theiry Henry preportions.  After a good shot from Derek Siddle the ball crashed against the bar and fell right on to Bjorn Lawton's head, six yards out with an open goal at his mercy he somehow managed to put the header wide.  It was fortunate for for Jens Marott and David Stringer though, as they also managed to fluff chances my two year old niece would have put away, but for Bjorn's classic their names would surely be up here in red lights.

Gaffe Rating 9/10

07/10/01 Surreal Madrid v Maritimo/Celtic

Only a minor gaffe this week, a confussion between Derek Siddle and Glenn Arthur over whether this was a home fixture meant that no nets or flags were brought for this match, so we had to use the Hackney Marshes Council,s nets and wil most probably be fined by the league for no corner flags.

Gaffe Rating 2/10

30/09/01 Surreal Madrid v Haringey Irish

Another Defensive gaffe again.  After going in front in the match the most of the defence Will Bicheno, Glenn Arthur, and Chris Bird (Possibly not Daz Johns) went to sleep when they thought that Surreal had won a throw-in, only for the referee to decide otherwise.  Harringey Irish took it very quickly and put three of their attackers totally in the clear behind the Madrid defence and had the very easy job of converting the chance for an equalizer.

Gaffe Rating 9/10

23/09/01 Surreal Madrid v Steeles

Shortly after half time during which it was mentioned to keep it tight for the first five minutes, a ball played up to the Steeles strikers caused total confussion in the centre of defence with a tangle between, Paul Cole, Will Bicheno, and Glenn Arthur. This resulted in the ball squirming through all three of them, leaving two Steeles attackers (who should have been marked) in the clear to slide home the ball.

Gaffe Rating 7/10

Please note the Gaffes have all been in defence so far due to them seeing most of the ball and being in the better position to provide these memorable moments. I will be keeping my eye on the attack in the weeks to come!

16/09/01  International v Surreal Madrid

An embarassing moment came shortly in the second half of this game when a long ball forward was completely mis-kicked or what you might call an air-shot by Glenn Arthur.  The ball went straight through to an International attacker which put him in with a clear run on goal.  Glenn's blushes were only spared due to a poor first time shot by the attacker which dribbled well wide of the post.

Gaffe Rating 5/10

9/9/01  Surreal Madrid v Roebuck

A calamity of a goal occured when Daz Johns marshalling a ball back to an advancing Jamie Phillips in goal, collided with him (with claims by Daz of 'I was pushed ref')which led to the ball running loose to be slotted into an open goal by the opposition forward. (Apologies for the lack of photographic evidence)

Gaffe Rating 6/10