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Member Profiles
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Dan 'The Gambler' Cockram
Role: Financial Advisor
Age- 17
Place of birth- The Patch, Bristol
Supports-Whoever he's got money on.
HONOURS:F.A Cup-2
U.E.F.A Cup-1
League Cup-2
Coca Cola Cup-1
Cup Winners Cup-1
Daniel Humphrey Bartholemue Cockram Esquire II, Started his career at Arsenal were he won Heaps of Cups and Trophies under George Graham, He career hit a nose dive when he publicly confessed his Cocaine and gambling addiction. Before moving to the Starr's he had spells with Middlesborogh and Aston Villa, and no longer calls himself Paul Merson.
Claim to fame: Made love to Kerry Makepeace, of Big breakfast family of the week fame, 1997.
Ex Rovers & City youth player, owns a sweet left foot but also a salty right. Ability to create goalscoring opportunities from all over the pitch. Has scored many a goal from outside the area. However, has a possible gambling addiction.
He denies his meetings with Al the turk has anything to do with a lasting coke addiction.
Rating:****
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Dan 'Dickless' Cook
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George 'Golden Balls' Creese
Age: 18
Role: Joint Manager
Supports-The Mighty Gas
HONOURS- World Cup:4
European Cup:5
Golden boot:16
F.A Cup: 4
Primera Liga:16
Copa Del Rey:12
Pro 5 wed 5v5 league div 5:1
The Krypton Factor('93,'95)
Nobel Prize for Maths('97,'98,'00)
Author of The Best Seller, 'The Bible'
Best trolley boy ever-tesco bradley stoke (2001)
winner of an editiom of ready, steady, cook
£2 winner on lottery instant scratch card
This fine stallion of man, is gifted beyond belief. Intelligence of Beckenbauer, Technique of R.Baggio and the drinking capabillities of Gascoingne.
This Talented Star grew up in the shammy pavellas of Rio De Janerio, where he would dazzle passers by with his skills on the copacabana.He then moved when he was 2 years old to Barcelona for a staggering £67,000,000 were he scored 789 goals in 70 games.George, however unfortunatly missed France '98 as Luxembergo the Brazil coach, dropped George because of his Playboy life style, and his heroin addiction. Now aged 17 he's moved on in his career and is with lukes's starr's were he's playing the best football of his life.
A man that proudley owns 14 a* G.C.S.E's, 5 A-Levels and 4 degrees.He can also speak 7 different languages, along with this mans great looks and unbelievable footballing capabilities, you could say this man/god is perfect.
Along with joint manager Ben Tuck, you could say he is the greatest player ever to grace the universe.
Rating:******
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Michael 'Tank' Dangerfield
The Starrs newest player, but we cant be assed to write a profile just yet!
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Guy from the oasis food van
Role: Nutrionist
age-unkown
place of birth-Iraq (we think)
This guy can make all sorts of food, as long as its arabic. Has a great left hand, but the right smells of tuna and meatballs. His speciality is the rather suculant chicken wings. Very nice of him to offer Jason a job on Saturday nights.
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