Random things!!

RANDOM THINGS

And can people stop altering the banter to suit themselves Jones and Wheatman im looking at you!!

As this season was slightly poor and we needed more web space i have taken it upon myself to delete the fantasy cricket cos it all turned out to be a bit of a fantasy...DIDN'T IT BOYS!?!?!

 So i have started a new page called RANDOM THINGS, the page will contain memeories of this season eg. awards and things that have occured whilst we have been on the lash like Matty Buggins you're buggin me and his celebrity corner.

Awards 2001!

Best fielder

Matty Buggins - The lanky legend takes it this season but will Tugger be challenging for honours next year? 

Mighty Duck

Andy Edwards - The young talent has sadly left us now but we thought we'd give him something to go with.

Best Bowler

Ben Twinning - The young star joined us half way through the year and still managed to scoop the award!

Best Bat

Sammy Jones - The only man to hit the 40's this season, and did so in style with a wonderful piece of jug avoidance getting caught on the boundary on 47.  The least bad of a pretty poor season of batting performances.

Players Player

Matty Buggins - We would like to thank Stowfords for the trophy.  He deserved it!

Clubman of the Year Award

Neil Squires - For doing nothing except being a legend! (and benefitting from the Rob Wheatman Stitch Up Award where the aforementioned Skip thought the evil barstewards he had captained had not even had the decency to award him a trophy for all his efforts. You should have seen his face when a slightly wobbly Jones and Junior Stavros staggered to the front of the room and with an overly emotional and nonsensical speech presented him with.........)

THE LEGEND TROPHY!!!!

Rob Wheatman - Only one candidate - only one winner.  Presented to the saviour of the court.  The second coming of the Messiah. The man who "used to be a legend" in Enigma. The man who is now a legend in the Rot. The man who is becoming a legend in the Tavern.  The man whose girlfriend is becoming a legend in Jonesy's bed.  LEGENDARY BEHAVIOUR!!!!!!!! Get the man a Stowfords!

MATTY'S CELEBRITY CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!

Alan Mullally

Matty managed to find the england seamer hiding in the corner in what was a very packed Weatherspoons.  Alan was slightly scared but Matty quickly calmed his nerves by offering him some much needed left arm advice!

A.M "Are you a fast bowler?"

M.B "I try to be!"

A.M "So do I!"

M.B "Well if you need any advice just call me!"

Ian Harvey

On a good night for the quiet bunch of heros Matty immediatly made a beline for the young Aussie.  After a quiet chat Matty returned with a smile on his face.  After the skip asks "what are you so happy about?"

 Matty replies "don't worry boys if he cant play for Glos next week hes coming down the court!"

Matty "Fancy a game for us on sat?"

I.H "If i'm not selected then ok!"

Skip "He'd have a job to get in the team!" 

Club Records This Season

+ Greatest Sayings

(Any suggestions welcome please leave them at the guestbook)

Seasons Greatest Sayings:-

V.C "Ben you can't carry that valve you're knackered!"

B.T "shall we see what i've got left in the locker?"

(mimics opening up a locker wi th surprised facial expression)

B.T "Oh look. . . theres plenty left in my locker!"

(BT after struggerling all day trying to load a machine at Spirax)

"She obviously doesn't swallow!!" (SHOUTED by Monkey's cousin Rich at the 1st Dowty Curry Club night in the Balti Walla after a very nice woman had just given us some free bottles of wine. NO NEED!!!)

"You wanna get jiggy with Mr Biggy?" (C.Townsend in Magaluf @ 7am on phone to filthy 16 year old northern bird he had snogged earlier and tried to introduce to the digital revolution in full view of everyone in our hotel).

"Could you pass me the sugar please Sam?" (Monkey @ Corse & Staunton) Yes!!! That's right!!! A whole sentence from the King of Filth which did not contain one single expletive!! Maybe we will let him come to the presentation night...

"Look at the size of this bag of coal". (No Danny thats compost) Spoken @ Tuggers BBq at 2 in the morning!

"Who the F**K ARE YOU" (Austin Deane @The Rot) Spoken after hearing our defeatus attitude towards playing!

"Don't pizz in your cornflakes if you don't have to eat them" (C.Townsend @Vaughnays pad)Spoken after having a fight with local female.

"F**k off he swims to New Zealand"(D.Midwinter @Vaughnays pad)Spoken after scott suggeated that at the end of point break Patrick Swayze dies.

"I thought i saw something" (D.Midwinter@Vaughnays pad) Spoken after walking out the door coming back in and staring at the fire place for 5 minutes!

" I've got a fiver and a tenner will i get change?" (I'm just going to ignore you)

" I'Ve got a fiver and a tenner i want some change!" (.....)

Most amount of points this season:-

1. Stinchcombe: 5 cos they declared!

Greatest Defeat:-

1.Rockhampton 316 for 3

2.Stinchcombe 312 dec

Players injured by animals:-

1) Neil Squires (By the urban legends satanic dog)

Seasons lowest scores:-

1)50 all out (Whitcombe)

2)56 all out(Frampton)

Most amount of catches dropped in one game:-

1.R.Wheatman 2 (in the knock out cup against winchcombe) **1 dropped, and one was a finger tip, not a drop, but for the sake of banter . . .**

1.L.Barwell 2 (In the knock out cup against winchcombe)

1. S.Squires (Rockhampton) 2 catches

Most amount of nick names:-

1.C.Townsend (Tugger, Graveyard Ken, Sunlounger Ken, Skip Ken, Dancing Ken, Dirtbox Ken, The Human Clamp,  Half-Pint)

2.S.Squires(Stavros, Imran, The Greek, Turkish, Anglo Turkish)

3.R.Wheatman (Wheato, "I used to be a legend in here", Judge, and Skip)

Longest period holding the duck 'o' Shame:-

1.B.Twinning 22hrs (Including sleeping with it on)

2.N.Squires 10hrs

3.D.Midwinter for about 10 minutes

Highest score this season:-

1.S.Jones 47

2.D.Midwinter 37

3. S.Jones 31

4.R.Wheatman 26

5.R.Wheatman 20 (Twice)

Most Boundaries this season:-

1. S.Jones, lots and lots

2. D.Midwinter, 7 fours

3.R.Wheatman, 10 fours, 4 six's

Shot of the season

Rob Wheatman despatching Corse & Staunton leg spinner for 6 over the boundry rope, over the pavillion roof, over the majority of the car park, and denting the concrete while missing all parked cars! 

Most wickets in a game:-

1.M.Chicken 3 (cup)

2.D.Midwinter 3 (Cup)

3.B.Twinning 3 (Cup)

4. R.Wheatman 3 (League)

Most amount of balls bowled in one over:-

1.M.Buggins 14

Most amount of runs hit for off one over:-

1.S.Squires 20

Most amount of consecutive ducks (Mighty Duck):-

1.A.Edwards 3(3 ducks)

Most amount of women passed round in one night:-

1.  4 Enigma Filth

2. One! Rachel round the team!!!!

The Widest delievery bowled!

1.S.Vaughan

Oldest slag had!

1. 30 year old bint by Jones He is also quite proud of this record to! ****NEWSFLASH**** He has recently bettered this by getting hold of 43 year old Lorraine who works at Viccy Wine in Benhall. She's the one who looks like Kevin Keegan. No more Stowfords for Mr Jones........ it's turning him into an animal!!!